I'm going to try to quit smoking. I've been smoking regularly for five years and have really wanted to quit for the last couple. What kept me smoking, I realized, was stress at work and the fact that my wife smoked, too. Both of those factors are changing slowly, but surely.

Smoking for me was a distraction from the stress of work. For better or for worse, I used smoke breaks to get out of my office, clear my head, and just take some "me" time. The constant travel, the long hours, and the thankless clients and co-workers cranked up tension and drove me to continue the habit. I wasn't a secret smoker. My clients and teammates knew I did it. They had their fun with it or took the time to tell me how bad it was for me (no shit, busybodies). In part, I continued to do it just to flash a defiant streak and be painted as an outsider (especially in CA where I worked for 16 months). Now, thanks to avoiding weekly work travel for the next seven months, my overall, weight-on-the-shoulders stress has reduced remarkably. Will the stress kick back up once the work gets crazy again? I'm sure, but I'm going to try, try, try to reject the smokes and not use them as a crutch or a way to escape.

The other change that will diminish the desire is that my wife won't be having one with me. She made a pact with herself in college that she wouldn't smoke for longer than ten years. She began at 21, and she turns 31 at the end of March. She plans to make her 31st birthday the last day. The last few times I tried to quit, it was very hard because my wife continued to smoke. When I saw her lighting up, the siren song called me back, and I smashed the smoke-free boat right into the rocks. Doing it together will make it easier for sure, but I know it won't be a slam dunk.

So, if you're in the neighborhood this spring or summer, please be patient and understanding if I'm a bit snippy or distracted. Getting the monkey off my back will be a process, certainly not an event. Wish me luck (and send black Twizzlers and sunflower seeds)!