I'm going home to Pittsburgh this weekend. I haven't been back to see my family and friends since December, the week before Christmas. My family hasn't seen me since I got married so they'll be excited. My wife can't join me because she's attending a fundraiser for us, and she has Prince tickets on Friday night. We have to get home together some time soon because they haven't seen us at all since we eloped on New Year's Eve.

The trip to Pittsburgh coincides with my little brother's 30th birthday. He'll be all fired up so it'll be fun. He got us Pirates tickets for Saturday night. They're playing the Cardinals, and that night is Turn Back the Clock Night. The Bucs will be wearing retro uniforms from the championship 1979 season, and it's Willie Stargell bobblehead night. As both a fan and a collector, I'm excited. Plus, you just can't beat baseball at PNC Park. Absolutely beautiful.

I'm looking forward to seeing family and friends. One friend recently had a baby so I hope to get a chance to see his son. Seeing my old friends with kids is always interesting.

C'est tout!

My wife and I are playing chess again. After all of the Bobby Fischer stories over the weekend, the game was on our mind so we started playing. I have a nice hand-carved wooden set from Poland, which had been in storage for the last couple of years (RE: in boxes we still haven't unpacked since the move to the condo). It's a great way to keep the mind sharp and totally void of anything work-related. On Sunday, I was on the web, searching for basic beginning strategies and endgames that I had forgotten or that were rusty. It's a lot of fun...too bad the wife's too tired to play tonight.

On a totally separate note, we watched the movie Monster on Saturday. Wow, what a performance by Charlize Theron. She was spot-on Florida white trash. Amazing. In addition to her acting, what really stuck with me was the lying that the character did, the tales she told, to get johns to "help her get some money." She lied because the truth would have scared the johns away faster than a bored state trooper or convinced them that they didn't want to get involved, no matter what kind of urge they had in their pants. This situation--without the murder, of course--reminded me of the time I spent with the homeless dude I met a few weeks agao. Hist story: He was roaming the streets of Chicago, out on parole, begging for money to get a bus ticket to California...so he said.

I believed his story to a certain extent. Our interaction, however, did start with a lie, a lie he'd been using for weeks to score quarters here, dollars there. His lie had pieces of truth in it, but the story didn't reveal the whole predicament. Basically, when I met him, he was in violation of parole and wanted to jump Chicago for California to meet up with a girl. Later, while we ate, he showed me pictures of this girl and the letters she wrote to him in prison and told me, over tears, how much he loved her, and, now with his mom dead, he had no one else in this world. The whole three hours passed by with him telling me about all the mistakes he made (drugs, theft), sharing his writings from prison (mostly poetry and spoken-word rants) and just getting things off his chest. Theron's character reminded me of that situation because both Chicago guy and she were in bad situations, much beyond their control and mental faculty. I believe both of them wanted to escape to a better life, but needed monetary help. To get money, they couldn't confess to the truth, for fear of no help at all.

There are so many people out there who have had really tough lives. But now, I don't know what to believe. You hear stories--the Chicago guy, Charlize Theron's character--and you want to help, but how much is real and how much is bullshit? Maybe they are bullshitting because the truth is so much scarier? Who knows...I don't regret what I did for this guy in Chicago because I learned a lot about myself and the world around me. But, it's so much easier now to walk past homeless people or tell them no.

The smoking reduction program hasn't been going well, particularly under the current work circumstances. However, good news on the horizon: My wife is increasing her effort to quit for personal reasons so I'm thinking the same thing.

What's been good is that exercise has been going up for both of us. For example, my wife's job requires her to do outdoor activities with the kids at the Boys and Girls Club. Therefore, she's gets a nice amount of daily exercise during the summer.

I continue to walk along Lake Michigan on weekends and do basic working out at home. Yestreday, my wife and I took a walking tour of our neighborhood, going to parts of Edgewater that we hadn't seen in a long time or at all (after two years...still exploring the neighborhood...very sad, but improving). We enjoyed burgers at Moody's Pub near the Thorndale Redline, and, via word of mouth, we checked out two new places near the Granville Redline. First was a new coffeehouse and roaster, Metropolis. The inside was great; the cup was brewed well; and, we bought 1/2 pound of beans of what we sampled. (We would have bought more , but, just the day before, we picked up a pound of Black Cat from Intelligentsia.)

We also stopped by the fairly new Left of Center Bookstore, located next door to Metropolis. Only open for a few months, the place is still filling out its shelves, but it's a small, independently owned bookstore, which is a good enough reason to frequent it. With the new Borders opening up at the corner of Lawrence and Broadway, it's refreshing to see a locally-owned bookstore pop up. The place has lots of left-leaning publications, but I thought the fiction section had a nice variety.

To provide some revenue to the shop , I made a couple of purchases, books that I wanted, but didn't really need. They're on the "To Buy" list, but it was more about supporting a local business than needing something to read. I bought the new David Sedaris hardcover, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim. (For the fans out there, I was laughing out loud by page five; for the newbies, do yourself a favor and read Barrel Fever or Holidays on Ice to get a feel.) I also picked up some fiction that's been on the "Baseball To Buy" list for a long time, The Natural by Bernard Malamud. Looking forward to reading it because wondering how different than the classic movie with Redford.

If you're in the city, check it out. And stop by Metropolis for a cuppa.

The weekend was filled with activity, but I still feel like I didn't do anything. Part of that is that I'm always exhausted, not physically (I get plenty of sleep on the weekends), but mentally. The mental exhaustion caused by too much work whittles away at my motivation. I FEEL like I don't want to do ANYTHING. However, I still manage to get some things done or do something.

Friday, I went out to do dinner with my wife. For a wedding present, her employer gave us a dinner gift certificate to an "urban club" in River North. I was starving because, literally, I hadn't eaten anything but a bagel all day so we took full advantage of the gift. We had grilled calamari, thai chicken lettuce wraps, grilled ahi (rare), London Broil (rare), berries and cream torte, and espresso. It was really good and a very generous gesture from my wife's boss.

Saturday, first, I went to the card shop on Montrose to buy a couple of boxes of 2004 Fleer Greats of the Game. I go to this shop about once a month and spend a fair amount so he threw in a bunch of free cards, plus I traded him some cards he needed to complete a couple of sets for a Pirates autograph card. No great pulls from the 04F GotG, but I'll be able to trade away most of the autographs, game-used, and serial-numbered for Pirates cards. I'll trade them either online via CardTradingFools, or there's another card shop customer who may want to trade for or buy them.

After the card shop, I used up a couple of gift certificates I got for my birthday last month. At Barnes & Noble, I bought a couple of books on wristwatches. Recently, as a present to myself and to complement the engagement ring I bought my wife over three years ago, I bought a TAG Heuer Link Calibre 36. For years, I wanted a really nice watch, a chronometer that wound automatically, but without gold or platinum or jewels. I haven't worn or carried a timepiece in about seven years because I was waiting until I was ready for the big purchase, which means ready to pay for it and felt like I earned it.

A good watch is a piece of beauty, both in design and engineering. There's a connection between superior timepieces and superior race car engineering. Clearly from a hobby standpoint, I now have passion for both. Back to the books, as an avid collector and reader, I wanted to have a couple of "watch" references handy, much like I do with my other interests such as racing, baseball, politics and philosophy. (Thanks to my sister for the B&N gift.)

With the other certificate from Best Buy (thanks to my sisters in law), I bought two pieces of computer hardware. One, I bought a Maxtor OneTouch External hard drive (200 GB, 7200 RPM, Firewire, USB 2.0/1.1) for backing up the home and work notebooks and for additional storage. I also purchased a SanDisk Cruzer Mini USB 128 MB Flash Drive. I like to keep my work notebook locked down at the office so, now, when I need to take home work, I'll use the Flash drive and use the home machine instead of lugging around the work laptop. Also, when working with clients and using their machines and networks, having a flash memory drive makes it so much easier to transfer files from client PC to my PC. Floppies, dialing up and emailing, and IR transfer are slow (and were getting really old).

Finally, on Saturday, I went to Home Depot to return some unused Pergo floor spacers and used the store credit to buy furnace filters. Exciting, huh?

Today, Sunday, I went to my wife's family reunion in Lake Station, IN. It was hot, humid, and achingly boring, but the trek was obligatory in my mind. You see, this was the first extended family opportunity to do the post-marriage meet and greet. Because we eloped in Chicago and didn't make a big deal about getting married (sending out "notices" for example), a bunch of her relatives didn't even know that we did it. I felt like I had to go so we could see people, answer questions, and just be there as the newest married couple. The 530pm departure time to head for the South Shore didn't come quickly enough.

This week will be, once again, very stressful and will require late nights because I have big Asia Pacific activities Tues-Thur. Shit, the week hasn't even begun, and I already can't wait for Friday. Jesus.

I'm fond of saying "There are two types of people in this world..." Now, of course, I'm also fond of saying, "Nothing is black and white. Everything's shades of gray." Contradictory? Yes, but bear with me.

If you pay attention in life, you'll note patterns in human behavior, and, from these behaviors, you can create categories. Creating the categories, especially opposed categories, may seem like an exercise in "black and white". As you read the rest of this entry, think about the concepts, morph them into tools, and apply in everyday life...you know, for the fun of it.

"There are two types of people in this world: the creatives and the critics."

"Creative" just doesn't mean art, but, instead, it's about ideas. The Creatives create things (paintings, processes, stories, formulae, philosophy, etc.). They are bold and willing to take risks, whether it were with the pen, the brush, the tool, or the mouth. Critics don't create, but, instead, spend time telling people why good, why bad, why will work, why won't work, etc. You'll see these distinctions in business, politics, science, as easily as you'll see in theater, cinema, writing, etc.

"There are two types of people in this world: those who tell stories and those who listen to them"

You know the types. There are people who are always doing something and telling people about it. On the flip, there are people who are not doing anything or not telling people what they do.

So, ask yourself, "Am I a creative or a critic? Am I a story-teller or a listener?" Then, ask yourself why you're one way or the other. What are the merits and advantages of both sides of the spectrum? What are the demerits and disadvantages?

Sure, someone could be in-between, not easily pegged to one or the other. That's fine because these categories aren't the be-all and end-all. Just having multiple category couplets just confirms that everything is "gray," but, hey, these are ideas, right?

Just a couple of plugs for an enhanced web-surfing experience:

1. Spybot

Spybot - Search & Destroy removes spyware and adware. This app is free and does a good job I'm cleaning up the crap lurking on your hard drive.

2. Mozilla

Dump IE as your browser and go with Mozilla (Verbage73 told me to do this some time ago, and I finally did it.)

Pop-ups dropped to practically zilch. Your favorites convert right over. All you have to do is download some plug-ins--ActiveX, Flash, etc.--as necessary.

My episode from last Friday prompted some Frequently Asked Questions, both in this blog and during conversations over the weekend. Here are the A's to FAQ:

Q1: Was the woman who was hit by the SUV seriously injured or killed?
A1: Yes, she was injured, but I don't think too seriously. Firetruck, ambulance, and police car were there within five minutes, and she was stabilized, backboarded, and taken to hospital. From what I could tell from my across-the-street pov, she may have hit her head off the ground. She was moving and coherent when the professional arrived so that's a good sign. My real amazement stemmed from the reaction of the woman driving. She didn't believe the woman was really hurt and thought the woman was exaggerating. She was incredulous toward the fact that the woman needed an ambulance and was convinced that she was making a big deal out of nothing (out of getting knocked over by a truck?!) I know all of this because she was chatting it up / pleading her case to the cop right in front of me. In general, the driver didn't appear to be upset, more annoyed than anything. The whole scenario was quite bizarre. Massive injury or minor injury, the woman was surely hit by an SUV and knocked to the ground. Who knows what happened at the hospital...

Q2: How was it that you ended up giving a 25y.o. ex-con a meal and a hotel?
A2: Timing. Pure and simple. I left work in a bad mood, asking myself, "Is it all worth it? There must be much more to life than working..." Just then, as I crossed the Thompson Center Plaza, this gentleman asked me if I knew the area, and, after I said "Yes" and he shot off some rapid-fire details, he then asked if I wanted to hear the whole story. I said, "Sure, what's your story? Why don't you have a place to stay or any money for a bus trip to Iowa?" And it went on from there... Because I was in the right mood (and my wife was out Friday night with her friends), I decided to try to help him solve his problem.

Q3: Why him and not someone else?
A3: Again, timing. At that point in the evening, whoever approached me would have received the same treatment. I never agreed to give him any money, but said that I would help him get a place to stay and have a meal.

Q4: What kind of life changes?
A4: I'm thinking about getting another job outside of consulting, seriously, this time. I'm tired of the lack of balance in my life and the gut-wrenching, endless stress. At this point in my career, everything's going so well that the sky's the limit regarding my future with the company. To some, this may not seem like a bad thing. However, in my company, being identified as a "fast-track" person and a future leader only means one array of things: more work, more hours, more travel, more lack of balance, and more stress. I just don't think I'm up for it anymore. As I look around and talk to people about other opportunities, I learn that I can have a similar career, but with more balance and more appreciation from my employer.

The "homeless" guy I helped on Friday did tell me some truths.

One, he's a felon. I looked him up in the Illinois Dept of Corrections Inmate register. He's there, picture and everything. In the past, he'd been picked up for possession of controlled substance, forgery / document alteration, and theft.

There were other truths there, too, so he wasn't completely full of shit. For example, he is 25, and he is on parole.

I never asked if he'd been in prison before, but, like I reported above, he certainly has. During our time spent, he came across like this was his first time in prison, but that interpretation was due to my lack of objectivism during Friday's matter. The fact that he's been in and out of prison got me wondering about recidivism and how some people continue to stay in trouble.

I don't know if this guy is really going to get out of this cycle he's been in for the last four years. From our discussions, he seemed...well, I don't know. I guess I learned that these types of people are always living lies, telling lies and stretching the truth. (In my thoughts, I frequently go back to the ethical philosophy book LYING by Sissela Bok, and, during my convo with this "homeless" guy, I referenced the three "forms" of truth obfuscation: Failure to Reveal, Deception and Lying. Prof. Schrag would be proud.) I suppose once you're in, you're in. It's hard to stop old habits. It's hard to change. Much like many things in life, I suppose.

This in-and-out of prison cycle reminds me a lot of the situation with poor families living in housing projects. With her job, my wife deals with these situations every day. In short, people don't want to leave the housing projects because it's what they know. To leave would mean massive change, change for which they are not mentally, emotionally, or practically prepared. Very, very few are willing to do the work to prepare themselves for life outside of the projects. In my opinion, that's why you gotta write off the adults and focus on the kids.

The adults are bums and will continue to manipulate the system because they can. The focus has to be on the future of the kids in the projects, getting these kids to understand that life in the ghetto is not how the world operates, that life in the ghetto is not healthy or productive.

The hardest part of all this is that you have kids that listen to their dumb, lazy, weak parents. My wife tells me stories of kids who say that they want to grow up and have the same lives as their mothers. "Why?" my wife may ask. "Because," they say, "she doesn't work, gets everything for free, and gets more money if she takes care of more babies." What?! Yes, you read that correctly. Kids are sponges, and, basically, until they mature intellectually, they believe everything their parents believe, whether it's religion, racism, politics, economics, whatever. That's why we gotta focus on the kids, help the kids, get the kids away from these environments and, frankly, away from their parents.

There's little hope for the "homeless" guy I met on Friday or the ghetto moms near my wife's place of employment. We must keep them from harming others, provide just enough "care" to appear less than cruel, and assume, unless they are willing to make the sacrifices to change, that they belong in the dustbin of society.

I haven't blogged in a long time. Work's been killing me: presentations every day, 730am conf calls almost everyday, and supporting Asia Pacific until about 11pm every week. It's been too much. Yesterday, the Friday before the holiday, I worked until 830pm. That's too much, especially for a Friday, but there's just too much to do, and I want to try to stay on top. In general, Friday was one of those very strange days, beyond the working way past quittin' time.

One, I watched a woman get hit by a car. SUV tried to speed a left turn on a yellow and tagged this woman with its grill. Screech, boom, smack...she hits the ground. Very scary. For those who know Chicago, it was at the corner of Huron and Clark, the north part of River North. But, ya know what, that wasn't the strangest part of the night...

Two, I helped a homeless guy get a room and a meal that night. More than that, I gave him companionship and conversation for about three hours. That's not the story though. There's so much more to it, but I'm too tired to write about it now. It's long; it's convoluted; and, it's just plain...well, sad. The night was filled with lies, truths, tears and...well, I guess that's for another entry.

Before I tell the story, I admit that I did something fairly risky, but learned so much from the experience that I think it's changed me. I don't know how, but something's different. It just didn't start that night, however. The change has been happening for months. In fact, to symbolize the beginning of an end, I made a very expensive purchase lately that, symbolically, was a much-deserved going-away present for myself. I think I'm close to moving on from one stage of life to the next. I'm not certain that I'll take the leap, but I'm certain changes are on the horizon.